Just another pointless fanfic
by Kat Kanan
Summary: What's up with all these fanfics about Sherlock, Waston, Raoul (Spelling?), and some random Julia and Jess that no one knows?
1. As the story begins

Well I'm bored so I'm going to write a fanfic like Jess and Julia. The only difference will be that mine is going to be much better because it has more me in it! Yay!

Most of the characters used in this story are not mine. In fact, I hardly even know where these characters came from or anything about them so don't yell at me for them being nothing the like the characters. And yes, Julia and Jess do belong to me. They are my evil minions.

**_Chapter 1: As the story begins…_**

As the story begins everyone is in one of Heather's many living rooms for some strange reason. Sherlock is rambling on about nothing while Jess nods to everything he says lovingly, Julia tries to play the piano and sing the Barney song with Watson, Raoul has an Easy Bake Oven plugged in making little mini cookies, and Heather's sitting in a chair glaring at them all and holding the bamboo stick for protection.

**Julia & Watson**: I love you! You love me!

**Heather**: Let's tie Barney to a tree. A shot gun 'bang' and Barney to the floor. No more purple dinosaur. Now can we shut up?!

**Watson**: _**cries**_

**Julia**: Heather! That's not how the song goes! You made Watson cry! Now say you're sorry!

**Heather**: You. Die.

**Watson**: _**cries some more**_

**Jess**: _**glaring at Watson** Will you all please _**twitch**_ shut up so I can __**twitch** hear Sherlock talk! __**twitch**_

**Raoul**: _**pulls out the cookies** Cookies are done!!_

**Watson**: Are they… Teletubbies?!

**Raoul**: _**nods**_

**Julia & Watson**: _**dive onto the cookies, eating them quickly**_

**Heather**: I'm going to beat you all… You will all die a horrible death… Just wait until my plan comes together…

**Everyone but Heather**: o.O

**Jess**: Yeah… _**twitch**_ So… _**twitch**_ I just remembered that _**twitch** me and Sherlock have to go __**twitch** somewhere…_

**Sherlock**: We do? I don't remember you telling me about this.

**Jess**: _**starts twitch uncontrollably** Yes… we… do… Sherlock…_

**Julia**: Oooooh! I wonder what Jess and Sherly are gonna do…

**Jess**: _**twitches so much she can't speak**_

**Heather**: _**begins to twitch with Jess, finally understanding why she does it now**_

**Julia, Raoul & Watson**: ….I love you! You love me!

**Sherlock**: _**shrugs**_

(What's Heather's plan to kill them all? Why do only Jess and Heather understand why Jess twitches so much? Why do all of our corny fanfics involve Teletubbies?! All that and more will be answered in **_Chapter 2: The death of the character that was 'too dumb' for the story_**)

****

**_~End Chapter 1~_**


	2. The death of the character that was ‘too...

            The only characters in this story that are mine are Heather, Julia, and Jolie (Jess). All other characters are either from Sherlock Homes or Phantom of the Opera (Also known as POTO!!!!!). So anyways, on with the story!

**_Chapter 2: The death of the character that was 'too dumb' for the story_**

            When we last left our heroes/villains/retards Raoul, Watson, and Julia were singing, Jess was twitching to the point of not speaking, Sherlock was not caring, and Heather was waiting for her plan to come together so she could kill them all. In the time that we've been gone Julia, Raoul, and Watson have moved to singing 100,000,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall (and are now on 999,999,999,323), Jess has started foaming from the mouth from all the twitching, Sherlock has been reading his own novel, and Heather is beating herself in the head with her bamboo stick.

**Julia, Raoul & Watson**: 999,999,999,323 bottles of beer on the wall! 999,999,999,323 bottles of beer! Ya take one down; pass it around, 999,999,999,321 bottles of beer on the wall!

**Heather**: God **_hits her head**_ kill _**hits her head** me __**hits her head** now __**hits her head**_

**Sherlock**: I love this book so much. And the main character… _**purrs**_

**Jess**: _**comes out of her twitching and foaming thing** Isn't the main character of that book __**twitch** the best?!_

**Heather**: That's _**hits her head**_ because _**hits her head** Sherlock __**hits her head** is __**hits her head** the __**hits her head** main __**hits her head** character __**hits her head**_

**Julia, Raoul & Watson**: 999,999,999,317 bottles of beer on the wall! 999,999,999,317 bottles of beer! Ya take one down; pass it around, 999,999,999,216 bottles of beer on the wall!

**Erik**: _**walks in out of nowhere** What'd I miss?_

**Heather**: Oh thank god you're here! Erik, it's time for plan six hundred sixty-six and three quarters.

**Everyone but Erik & Heather**: o.O

**Erik & Heather**: _**nod**_

**Everyone but Erik & Heather**: O.o

**Heather**: Okay everyone. Me and Erik…

**Julia**: Erik and I.

**Heather**: _**rolls eyes** Erik and I…_

**Julia**: Better.

**Heather**: Yeah well anyways Erik and I are going to go get some pizza for everyone.

**Erik & Heather**: _**run out of the house and as far away as possible**_

**Jess**: I think we should _**twitch**_ leave…

**Watson**: But we haven't finished our song yet!

**Raoul**: Yeah! And I still have to bake more cookies!

**Julia**: And think of the pizza Jolie!!

**Jess**: Well… _**twitch**_ Um… _**twitch** We can go and __**twitch** get a Tele- **__twitch** -tubbie movie….. **__twitch**_

**Julia, Raoul & Watson**: TELETUBBIES!!! LET'S GO!!!

**Julia**: But first I must use the bathroom! _**runs off to the bathroom**_

**Sherlock**: Leave without her?

**Everyone else**: Yup. _**run out to the car and somehow Jess learns to drive**_

**Julia: _**comes out of the bathroom**_ Hey… Where'd everyone go?**

_**A whole bunch of knifes come down from nowhere, killing Julia**_

**_Meanwhile…_**

**Erik & Heather: _**sit on the beach of some random island in the middle of nowhere**_ BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!**

(Is that it?! Is Julia's life over like that?! How could someone do that!! Where will all the comedy come from now?! Will they ever get over this Teletubbie love?! All this and more answered in **_Chapter 3: WHAT THE F***!!_**)

**Heather: Too much sun…**

**Erik: Yeah let's go inside…**

**_~End Chapter 2~_**


	3. WHAT THE F!

Just a note to all my adoring fans:

I **_AM_ friends with Julia and Jess and they **_LIKE_** my fanfics (Well Jess does anyways). I am in no way that I know of offending them, hurting them, or making them feel unloved… By writing this story that is. **

            I'd also like to add (as I always do) that I **_DO NOT_ own any of the Sherlock Homes/POTO characters. Not only that but I have never read either of the book series before ever in my life. Therefore I know nothing about the characters which causes their personalities to be a bit off from the "real thing". I'm sorry for that but if you really don't like this then you can just go do your mom. Or stop reading my fanfic. Either one is fine with me.**

On last weeks episode of Dragon Ball Z… I mean 'Just another pointless fanfic' Heather and Erik ran off to some beach in the middle of nowhere.

**Heather**: What's with all this heat?!

Jess, Sherlock, Watson, & Raoul fled from Heather's house before Erik and Heather's evil plan 666 ¾ came together.

**Watson**: WHAT?! WE AREN'T GETTING THE MOVIE?! NO!!!!!

And Julia died a horrible death by many, many knives.

**Julia Ghost**: Crap… Now my cookies go right through me…

What will happen this week?! Stay tuned for the next exciting episode:

**_Chapter 3: WHAT THE F***?!_**

Da dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Da dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Da dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dadadundundadada.

**Jess**: _**twitch** Sorry Watson but __**twitch** we had to get you __**twitch** out of there. Erik and __**twitch** Heather were going to __**twitch** kill us all __**twitch**_

**Watson**: _**too busy crying to care**_

**Raoul**: Can we go back to Heather's house then? I left my Easy Bake Oven there… _**an inch from crying**_

**Sherlock**: Yes I agree. The danger is surely over by now. I see no logical reason why we can not go back.

**Jess**: Whatever you say, _**twitch**_ Sherlock…

So they drive back to the house all stupidly; Raoul and Watson singing random songs and Jess and Sherlock talking about how fine Sherlock is. When they arrive at the house, they go into the living room they were in before.

**Jess**: _**twitch** What __**twitch** the _**twitch**_ hell?!... _**twitch**__

**Watson**: _**cries like the fool that he is**_

**Sherlock**: Hmm… It looks like Julia was killed by many, many knives that somehow fell from the ceiling. Because this is Heather's house and because she was talking about an evil plan… I have deduced that Erik is that one who was behind all this!

**Raoul**: Now dat just makes no sense.

**Jess**: Yes! _**twitch**_ Brilliant Sherlock! _**twitch** But for the __**twitch** slower people __**twitch** care to explain your __**twitch** reasoning?_

**Sherlock**: Elementary my dear Jessica.

**Jess**: _**all dreamy like** He called me dear… __**twitch**_

**Sherlock**: Yes well… As I was saying… For the past couple of weeks Erik has been going over to Heather's house. At first I just assumed that he had forgotten about Christine and now had something with Heather, yet I was still curious. When I asked him why he was going there he always answered 'To fix her ceiling'. It was all part of their plan 666 ¾.

**Jess**: This is why I _**twitch**_ love you Sherlock…

**Sherlock**: What?

**Jess**: I said nothing _**twitch**_

While they were looking at the random dead body (You know, doing things like taking pictures but not doing anything to help) Erik and Heather were also heading home to see the dead bodies of all their stupid 'friends'.

**Erik**: I'm so glad to finally be rid of them all.

**Heather**: Yes… So am I…

**Erik**: Are you sure your parents won't get mad at you? No one should ever get mad at you.

**Heather**: Nah. And if they do, I'll use plan 427.

Soon they arrived back at Heather's house. They go to the living room, seeing everyone still alive.

**Heather**: WHAT THE F***?! WHY AREN'T YOU ALL DEAD?!

**Watson**: L, M, N, O, P!!!!!

**Raoul**: What he says is "My best friend is dead!!!" Wait a minute… I thought I was your best friend! _**cries**_

**Erik**: You will all burn in Hell… BURN IN HELL I TELL YOU!!!

**Julia Ghost**: Psst. Been there, done that.

(What the crap is going on?! Does anyone notice the Julia Ghost? What happened to Raoul's Easy Bake Oven?! Well you're going to have to wait until the next chapter now aren't you? **_Chapter 4: The lost of yet another close friend_)**


	4. The lost of let another close friend

            I know, I know… This whole 'adding of the random not owning of the characters' thing is getting annoying, but you people are stupid and don't get the hint so I must. FOR THE BILLIONTH TIME I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE POTO OR SHERLOCK HOMES CHARACTERS AND I HAVE NEVER READ EITHER OF THE BOOKS SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE LIKE. Thank you.

**_Chapter 4: The lost of yet another close friend_**

**Julia Ghost**: Psst. Been there, done that.

**Watson**: _**stops crying** I… I know that voice… But where?_

**Everyone but Watson**: Wha….. o.O (Yes wha)

**Julia Ghost**: _**starts singing the Barney theme to help him remember**_

**Watson**: I got it!! It's Barney!!!

**Everyone but Watson**: _**does the Japanese anime fall**_ -.-'

**Julia Ghost**: You fool! It is I! The Julia Ghost! And now that I am dead I have acquired the wisdom of all the ancient people of the past and… Nah I'm just playing! I'm still as dumb as a sack of potatoes!

**Heather**: You gotta be pretty dumb to admit that…

**Sherlock**: This is fascinating! A real live ghost right in front of me! I never would have thought this would happen!

**Jess**: _**twitch** How __**twitch** can _**twitch**_ this _**twitch**_ be? __**twitch**_

**Erik**: She does have a point… This can't be a real ghost… Anyone with half a brain would know ghosts aren't real…

**Watson**: OH MY GOD!!! Barney looks just like my dead friend Julia!!!

**Julia**: _**looks at herself** OH MY GOD I DO!!!_

**Heather**: They are the most stupid things I have ever met… Hey… Speaking of stupid… Where's Raoul?

**Raoul**: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Everyone**: _**looks over to where his screams were coming from**_

**Raoul**: NO!!! This can't be!! I can't believe it!! LIVE I TELL YOU!! LIVE!!!

**Jess**: What is he _**twitch**_ talking about? . ._**twitch**_

**Raoul**: _**pulls a tray of cookies out of his Easy Bake Oven that aren't cooked at all** Look at what you did to my Easy Bake Oven!! She's… She's dead!!! _**cries**__

**Watson**: _**cries too and says inbetween tears** The death of yet another close friend!! NO!!!_

**Heather**: This is so stupid… Just end the chapter now…

(That's it? What a waste of a chapter. Why'd I even take the time to write this piece of crap? Oh well… I'm very beautiful so I don't need a reason to do the things I do. At least I answered most if not all of the questions at the end of the last chapter. Come back tomorrow for **_Chapter 5: Alone with the Julia Ghost_**)


	5. Alone with the Julia Ghost

The only characters I own are the Julia Ghost, Jess, and Heather. Yes I do own both Jess and Julia and since Heather is me it only makes sense that I own me too. All twitching actions and the twitching smiley (_O) are copyright Jess no matter what you other losers say. All Sherlock Homes and POTO characters are copyright some other freaks. Their personalities are copyright Julia, Jess, and Heather. If you steal our ideas without our permission (Jess' permission doesn't count) then may you be gang raped by a whole bunch of really old men. ^_^

**_Chapter 5: Alone with the Julia Ghost_**

While we were gone Raoul went to the backyard and started to hold a funeral for his Easy bake Oven, Watson went with him too, Heather and Erik tried to figure out another way to kill them all, Jess was foaming from the mouth and twitching again, Sherlock was mumbling something about calling the police while reading his book, and the Julia Ghost was staring at her body wondering why no one was giving her a funeral.

**Heather: Erik… I have a good idea. We won't kill them.**

**Erik: What?! We have to kill them!!**

**Heather: That's where you're wrong. _We don't have to kill them. Let them kill themselves._**

**Erik: Eh? How?**

**Heather: Think about it! We've already took away what Watson and Raoul loved most in life. They're already half way there.**

**Erik: Yes… Good idea… What's the plan?**

Meanwhile while they were potted more evil…

**Raoul: Here lays our good friend, Miss Easy Bake Oven. She had a nice life… Yup…**

**Watson: Now what?**

**Raoul: Go watch Teletubbies with Barney?**

**Watson: Okay then!!**

            Yeah… That was weird… Anyways back in the living room with the TV (That's the one that everyone wasn't in)

**Julia Ghost: _**glares at the remote**_ I swear I'll get that remote if it's the last thing I do…**

**Heather: _**walks into the room**_ Hey the Julia Ghost! Look over there! _**points off in random direction**_**

**Julia Ghost: What?! Where?! _**looks to where she pointed**_**

**Random Creepy Girl from Gothika: _**appears in the room where the Julia Ghost can't see her, cuts the cable to all the TVs, and disappears**_**

**Julia Ghost: _**turns back around**_ WHAT?! NO!! I MISSED IT AGAIN!!!**

**Heather: _**blink**_ Well that was extremely helpful…**

            With that Heather leaves the room to go on to her next step of driving everyone insane while Erik plans the third step of the plan.

**Heather: _**stands to the left of Sherlock, reaches around his back, and taps his right shoulder**_**

**Sherlock: _**looks to his right**_ Who's there? What do you want?**

**Heather: _**steals his book and runs away**_**

**Sherlock: NO!! Where'd my book go! Wait a minute… There's a mystery to solve here! _**goes off to solve 'The Mystery of the Missing Book'**_**

            Now that step two is done, it is time to go to step three…

**Erik: _**stands in front of Jess**_ Jessica? Can you see me?**

**Jess: _**eyes roll into the back of her head**_**

**Erik: O.O… Okay then… _**pushes Jess into the random open closet behind her, closes the door, locks it, and swallows the key**_ That was kind of painful…**

            Erik walks off to join Heather and watch what happens to them all from a safe distance… the roof of the little house in Heather's backyard.

**Jess: _**comes out of her twitching and foaming thing**_ What _**twitch**_ happened?! _**twitch**_ What am I _**twitch** doing in a __**twitch** freaking closet?! __**twitch** WHERE'S SHERLOCK?!?!?! __**twitch**_**

            As Jess is spazzing and Raoul and Watson are lost in the backyard, the Julia Ghost gives up on the TV and decides to go see what's happing in the closet.

**Julia Ghost: _**walks through the doors and into the closet**_ Yo! Jessica, homie G! What's you doin' here?**

**Jess: Locked _**twitch**_ in _**twitch** Save __**twitch** me _**twitch**__**

**Julia Ghost: You're locked in? I'm not! I can go in and I can go out! _**steps out**_ and back in _**steps back in** and back out __**steps out**_**

**Jess: _**eyes roll into the back of her head as she starts foaming from the mouth and twitching**_**

(Sherlock has lost his book, Watson and Raoul have lost their cable, and Jess has lost her sanity! Oh yeah and she lost Sherlock and is stuck in a closet with the most annoying ghost ever. What will happen next time? Find out soon enough! **_Chapter 6: I'll help!_)**

**Julia Ghost: And now I'm in _**steps out**_ and now I'm out _**steps in**_ and now I'm in _**steps out**_ and now I'm out _**steps in**_ and now I'm in _**steps out** and now I'm out…_**


	6. Chapter 5 and a half I guess

            Oh yeah… This is gonna mess me up soooo much… I'd like to start off by noting that this **_IS NOT_** Chapter 6: I'll help. This is simply explaining why I might not be working on this as fast as I was before. See, I'm the kind of person who can start something and do the beginning with a lot of energy and really care about it but when they get further into it they get bored quickly. I'm also the kind of person who writes long run on sentences! So It takes much more effort to write a chapter now then it did before. (I'd like to note that I have more chapters then Julia and Jess do in their pointless fanfics =P) Also I busy with something… Something new… Something different… Something stolen from Julia… Yes, it's true. ANOTHER FANFIC! I have yet to name it but I can tell you this much:

It has nothing to do with either Sherlock Homes or POTO (gasp!) It has something to do with something I actually have half a clue about It only has two main characters The characters aren't the real characters from the thing I'm writing the fanfic about but they are good rip offs and the storyline is the same as the real thing It was kind of Julia's idea It has weapons in it It has quick sand It has jokes making fun of everyone I know (mostly Julia) It's PG-13 rated 

That's all I can give away for now. You're going to have to wait until I write it to find out more! ^_^


End file.
